[there are times when the then and now bleed together just a little bit, times when Xue Yang sees white cloth against Xingchen's face. when there is the phantom ache of a crushed finger on his hand, when there is the weight of a weapon made of more than steel held in his grasp. when Xue Yang sees Xingchen with blood on his throat at his feet and feels that riptide of fearlossdispay pull him under to drown. and then there are times like this; when the heat from Xingchen's body pressed close burns away the fog of memory and leaves him instead with the aching sensation of wanting to keep this man with him no matter what.
Xue Yang is not good with softness, he has not known it outside of Xingchen. he does not know how to speak with warm words and gentle touches quite the same way as Xingchen, doesn't know how to make his tongue hold those words the way his fingers can hold a weapon, but he wants to try. just for Xingchen.
so when the words, as soft as the are, are murmured against the cool of the door in their apartment hallway, Xue Yang goes still. his fingers flex against the softness of Xingchen's stomach beneath fabrics (vulnerable, all it would take is a short knife and the right twist and--), but he doesn't press down. doesn't bruise. makes a noise that shakes his chest before he does let go.
just a little.]
Would you like that? Would you enjoy me taking you apart where anyone might be able to walk by and see? Just a little taste of what they can never have?
[ the hand that had pulled away from his stomach comes back, sinks lower to press against him lightly. too lightly to really be gratifying. he is still close to Xingchen, close enough that the heat of their bodies bleeds together, but he is no longer pressing him to the door, no longer trapping him quite the same.]
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:ANGELIC FACE:
Date: 2020-01-20 03:42 pm (UTC)Xue Yang is not good with softness, he has not known it outside of Xingchen. he does not know how to speak with warm words and gentle touches quite the same way as Xingchen, doesn't know how to make his tongue hold those words the way his fingers can hold a weapon, but he wants to try. just for Xingchen.
so when the words, as soft as the are, are murmured against the cool of the door in their apartment hallway, Xue Yang goes still. his fingers flex against the softness of Xingchen's stomach beneath fabrics (vulnerable, all it would take is a short knife and the right twist and--), but he doesn't press down. doesn't bruise. makes a noise that shakes his chest before he does let go.
just a little.]
Would you like that? Would you enjoy me taking you apart where anyone might be able to walk by and see? Just a little taste of what they can never have?
[ the hand that had pulled away from his stomach comes back, sinks lower to press against him lightly. too lightly to really be gratifying. he is still close to Xingchen, close enough that the heat of their bodies bleeds together, but he is no longer pressing him to the door, no longer trapping him quite the same.]
What do you want, Xingchen.