[ the thing about violence is that once you dip your toes in the water, it is virtually impossible to not drown in it. even if you think that you have learned to swim, there is always an undertow just waiting to catch you unawares and pull you under. it is something that Xue Yang knows, has always known since his first forays in the underground world of blood and steel and bones at the age of twelve. he keeps his head above water though with a grin on his face, is terrifyingly efficient at courting death like a lover, and perhaps for that reason alone, he makes it longer than most.
that is not to say that he is without his moments where there is water in his lungs and ice in his bones, moments of panic when the world he lives in seems to pull him under into the dark. days when a knife goes too deep, a bullet too close, but--
he hasn't drowned yet.
and by the time he is twenty-three, Xue Yang is known well enough in the circles in the underground that he doesn't have to work quite so hard to get the recognition (fear, usually it is fear) he feels he deserves. doesn't have to worry about being considered cannon fodder anymore. no, now Xue Yang is the knife in the dark, the shadow in the corner of the room when you are sure that you have checked it over twice. he is a free agent of sorts, not held down by any one family, any one house because they all learned their lesson the hard way. it gives him an illusion of freedom.
you're never really free, not in this world.
the other thing about violence that Xue Yang learns is that once you are in, whether you are pushed in too young or choose to jump in too late, you cannot get out. there is no ladder, no shallows, once you're in, you're in, no matter how much you might wish otherwise. and there are times when Xue Yang does wish otherwise, times when he sees fleeting glimpses of the land far off, grins without teeth and something that seems soft at the heart of it all, and he gets the urge to swim.
but he is in too deep for that.
fuck, after this disaster of an evening he wouldn't be surprised if the undertow finally catches him. calling it a disaster is actually generous of him, it goes beyond disaster at this point, and he is going to fucking murder the assholes that got those wires crossed. it is supposed to be a night off for him, just him having an enjoyable evening in a club with no worried about hits or feuds or assholes in suits that think they are better than everyone else.
supposed to be the key phrase.
what it turns into is an apparent botched kidnapping of some do-gooder distantly connected to the Lans and a bullet lodged firmly in Xue Yang's shoulder. (it hurts like a bitch and he knows that he is going to have a time getting that out later but now--) . Xue Yang has no stake in this fight, he is literally here on a whim (okay okay this bar has great margaritas don't look at him), but he finds himself pissed at the assholes that start it all just on the fact that it was his night off.
which is why he finds himself casually getting rid of the morons that are currently trying to shove one Xiao Xingchen into a hideous puke green car and tugging the man away from the chaos.
don't make a comment about how he stumbles, thank you.]
You're one fuckin' wanted man, aren't you there. Jesus, you owe me a margarita.
[ On a night that should have been routine, what could go wrong, did. Xiao Xingchen is not a man people would look at and think of the mob. Too kind. Too innocent. Too fucking naive. And he is. And yet he feels he does damn good work for the Lans, whenever they reach out to make a request of him and his specific services.
And yet the shit hit the literal fan and the only reason (and he's too painfully aware of it) that he hasn't been whisked off to be tortured or something...is because his wanna-be kidnappers happened to piss off someone even worse than them.
When Xue Yang stumbles though, Xingchen is right there, supporting him with a worried little frown as they quickly escape. The comment has him smile though, and he laughs quietly. ]
For this, I'll buy you three. When we get somewhere safe enough, I want a look at that shoulder.
[ No ifs and or buts are allowed in his quiet tone though. He knows better than to take his rescuer to an actual hospital, but he's good enough to handle it himself. ]
[ there was probably going to be hell to pay later, when people got wind of him stepping in on behalf of Xingchen (on behalf of the Lans, that is what some families will see it as, and unpaid too), but right now Xue Yang really does not give a flying fuck about that. sure, he wasn't paid to make sure that Xingchen wasn't kidnapped, tortured, or otherwise killed, and he also wasn't exactly known for his acts of kindness , but--
petty. Xue Yang was a petty bitch and he was pissed his night was ruined. he could deal with the fallout later when he managed to get Xingchen out of here and also managed to get some sleep.
and get the bullet out of his shoulder.
which he feels when he sways and Xingchen's arm comes around him. that-- okay. huh. interesting.
with a curl of his lip, Xue Yang tries to pull away. it hurts but better than too much weakness in the face of someone that wasn't quite an ally.]
Three margaritas huh? Are you trying to get me drunk there, Xiao Xingchen? [ he tries not to think about that smiles makes him feel like there is water in his lungs.] I will have you know it will take more than three.
[ maybe four.]
And I'll be fine, just fucking annoying. Who the hell did you piss off anyway? They're shit.
[ They both would, in all honesty. Xingchen, for letting himself be in that situation would at least get a stern talking to by the Lans.
He's heard about this man, of course he has. Who hasn't? But seeing him work in person...well. He likes what he sees. If Xue Yang's a bit rough around the edges...that's fine. Oddly enough he's not afraid, though he's aware he probably should be.
The attempt to pull away has him tut in worried disapproval and he doesn't loosen his hold. ]
Then something else you want. I've caused you trouble, whatever your reasons.
[ Xingchen keeps them moving though, knowing better than to stay in one place when there's someone wounded with him. Owing this man should make him tremble in fear.
Yet he's not worried about that, either. ]
I know you'll be fine. You're strong, Xue Yang. But I'm not going to let you complicate your recovery while I'm around. [ As for who he'd pissed off...he doesn't have an answer to that just yet. ]
[ at the very least, Xue Yang will be pleased to know that his reputation proceeds him. he knew that it did, honestly, but also it is something that he likes to hear for obvious reasons. he knows that people are aware of him, that there is an inkling of fear that goes with his name, he is a gun for hire after all. the knife in the dark and the shadow with teeth and claws, and the guy you didn't pick a fight with. it is impressive (or stupid) that Xingchen stays so close to him so easily.
(impressive, he will consider it impressive for now.)
the laugh that shakes his frame hurts, but Xue Yang doesn't stop.]
Caused me trouble? Oh no, that was fun, sweetheart. They were idiots, and easy prey, even if there were quite a few of them. Consider that payment enough.
[ that being their blood on his hands. besides, he was pretty sure that Xingchen was too pretty for them anyway.
and never mind, he is stupid, not impressive. this man is offering to take care of his wound. what the hell.
Xue Yang slows, one eyebrow raised as he looks at him.] Complicate my recovery. It is just a fucking bullet wound, not surgery. [ hell even surgery he could handle. ] Are you really sure you want to help heal me? Hmmm?
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And yet the shit hit the literal fan and the only reason (and he's too painfully aware of it) that he hasn't been whisked off to be tortured or something...is because his wanna-be kidnappers happened to piss off someone even worse than them.
When Xue Yang stumbles though, Xingchen is right there, supporting him with a worried little frown as they quickly escape. The comment has him smile though, and he laughs quietly. ]
For this, I'll buy you three. When we get somewhere safe enough, I want a look at that shoulder.
[ No ifs and or buts are allowed in his quiet tone though. He knows better than to take his rescuer to an actual hospital, but he's good enough to handle it himself. ]
I know my way around bullet wounds.
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petty. Xue Yang was a petty bitch and he was pissed his night was ruined. he could deal with the fallout later when he managed to get Xingchen out of here and also managed to get some sleep.
and get the bullet out of his shoulder.
which he feels when he sways and Xingchen's arm comes around him. that-- okay. huh. interesting.
with a curl of his lip, Xue Yang tries to pull away. it hurts but better than too much weakness in the face of someone that wasn't quite an ally.]
Three margaritas huh? Are you trying to get me drunk there, Xiao Xingchen? [ he tries not to think about that smiles makes him feel like there is water in his lungs.] I will have you know it will take more than three.
[ maybe four.]
And I'll be fine, just fucking annoying. Who the hell did you piss off anyway? They're shit.
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He's heard about this man, of course he has. Who hasn't? But seeing him work in person...well. He likes what he sees. If Xue Yang's a bit rough around the edges...that's fine. Oddly enough he's not afraid, though he's aware he probably should be.
The attempt to pull away has him tut in worried disapproval and he doesn't loosen his hold. ]
Then something else you want. I've caused you trouble, whatever your reasons.
[ Xingchen keeps them moving though, knowing better than to stay in one place when there's someone wounded with him. Owing this man should make him tremble in fear.
Yet he's not worried about that, either. ]
I know you'll be fine. You're strong, Xue Yang. But I'm not going to let you complicate your recovery while I'm around. [ As for who he'd pissed off...he doesn't have an answer to that just yet. ]
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(impressive, he will consider it impressive for now.)
the laugh that shakes his frame hurts, but Xue Yang doesn't stop.]
Caused me trouble? Oh no, that was fun, sweetheart. They were idiots, and easy prey, even if there were quite a few of them. Consider that payment enough.
[ that being their blood on his hands. besides, he was pretty sure that Xingchen was too pretty for them anyway.
and never mind, he is stupid, not impressive. this man is offering to take care of his wound. what the hell.
Xue Yang slows, one eyebrow raised as he looks at him.] Complicate my recovery. It is just a fucking bullet wound, not surgery. [ hell even surgery he could handle. ] Are you really sure you want to help heal me? Hmmm?