[ the lie will hold for now. at least until Xue Yang can get his feet under him, can have a few more strings untangled and a few more knots tied. not that he wants to lie to Xingchen he knows-- he remembers, how that ends up. with blood in the dust and a silence that is deafening (remembers how at the end of it all he wasn't that upset to die, not really). but he also knows that he can't just say 'I have those dreams too'. dreams, not nightmares, because he can see himself reflected in them so easily, in the blood and death and-- (you know nothing of the world. that hasn't changed.)
maybe they have changed enough that what happened before won't happen again.
(except maybe it will, Xue Yang thinks about how he wants to keep everyone away from Xingchen, how he covets and craves and--)
they are still standing on the street, in between shadows and streetlights, when Xingchen looks at him like that. like he can see the turn of the earth there. like he can see the darkness and loves Xue Yang anyway. it makes his heart crawl up his throat, threatening to choke him.
distract me.
well okay then.
a smile curls his lips, not quite the knife sharp thing he bares for those that he wishes to terrorize, but something just for Xingchen. sharp but still warm, broken only by his laughter when Xingchen's hands make their way to his ass, leaving him curling around him, arms winding around his torso to pull them flush.]
You don't mean in the way I might when I leave the milk out on the counter and it spoils, do you. [ a kiss, more teeth and tugging than before. teasing. his voice is low when he speaks, the words pressed to the thin skin of Xingchen's throat, words interrupted by light nips. ] We're almost home, do think you can beat me home if I give you a five second head start?
[not the way he leaves the milk out, or drinks right out of the orange juice, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste, or the dozens of other little things that drive xingchen crazy on a daily basis. makes him laugh too, the way he is right now, and gods, he loves him. he lets xue yang ground him with teeth and hands that are just a taste of things to come. he puts the pain and confusion of earlier into a white-lined coffin and buries it deep.
(he's not his toy. he's not his downfall. the ache that xingchen feels when he looks at him is love, it's not the pangs of a barely healed soul that couldn't return for hundreds of years. it's not.)]
Mmm, maybe. [xingchen's smile is serene, his half-lidded gaze playful. there's no way a five second head-start would help him. he doubts a five minute head-start would, not if xue yang's of a mind to find and have him. but xingchen pulls away anyway, still looking at his boyfriend as he takes a few steps backward.]
Stay. You promised me a whole five seconds.
[xingchen grins before he turns to run. maybe it's his imagination, or an illusion of the dark rainy streets that he runs down, but he feels faster. he leaps over something with ease and lands gracefully on the other side of it. something wants him to get away from xue yang as quickly as possible, and gives him the power in this life to do so.
instead, he runs right up the stairs of their apartment.]
[ it's something primal, something deeper than marrow, older than the atoms that are clustered together to make him a being, the urge to chase. to hunt. to have. something that has been etched into his bones for as long as he has been is the urge to chase Xingchen. he has been chasing him since he saw him in that club all those eons ago (chasing him since he saw him, too pure and too good in another lifetime), and it flares wicked bright and burning when his boyfriend steps back from him.
(there should be fear there, something unsteady lingering in the smile, the lines of his eyes, Xue Yang thinks. not this playful, wanting thing that makes his stomach swoop and ribs crackle.)
he holds up his hand, phone curled in his grip as he sets a timer.]
Won't move till the alarm goes, promise.
[ the urge flares all the brighter as soon as Xingchen turns and bolts. Xue Yang's whole body lurching with the need to chaseruncashcatchtear but he stops himself. knows that no matter how swift Xingchen is, how fast he is, he doesn't know the streets quite like Xue Yang.
(a small voice says he will run away, will seek the mountains he came from, the arms of someone more stable, will seek--
no. Xue Yang will flatten the mountains if he has to, will cut off the arms of anyone that dares.)
when the alarm goes, he doesn't hold back. goes full tilt with a laugh that echoes in the shadows and between the buildings, steady and bright and constant.
('you don't deserve him'. yeah, well fuck you too, he will deserve him. will prove it.)
Xingchen almost makes it into the apartment, makes it to the door, but Xue Yang doesn't quite takes stairs like a normal person and comes up behind, fast and hard. laugh sharply as his body presses Xingchen between the door and his chest, arms braced on either side of his face while he hides his triumph against the curve of Xingchen's neck.]
You've gotten faster, or were you trying that hard to get away from me? To get home? [ there is a sharpness beneath the words he won't name, so he doesn't wait for an answer. just bites at the knobs of Xingchen's spine hard enough to leave a bloom of red before he kisses is gently, one arm moving down to wrap around his torso. mumbles words against his sweat damn skin as he pushes closer.] Almost made it. Not fast enough.
[xingchen doesn't know why a part of this feels reversed, like he should be the one chasing xue yang. they've taken their turns at it in this life, xue yang stalking him through that club, xingchen finding him in the bathroom after he threatened to rip the tongue out of the nice guy who bought xingchen a drink. and then he found out that that 'nice guy' had slipped something into it when he wasn't looking.
there's a feral streak in xue yang, a comfortableness with violence that's unsettling to most people. but he's always using it for xingchen's sake, never once touching him with it. if xue yang is a knife, xingchen is his sheath.
so when he hears that laughter echoing behind him, it sends a chill up xingchen's spine for all the right reasons. a part of him really wants to reach their apartment, lock the door against him and play a dangerous game of seeing what xue yang does then. he wants the punishment of it so bad that he barely understands it.
his hand is just reaching for the doorknob when xue yang comes up behind him like a force of nature. xingchen's heart is hammering againt his ribs like it wants to break free and keep running. maybe at least one part of him could survive this time. the rest of him is trapped by xue yang's body, his energy. xingchen presses his cheek against the door while he catches his breath.]
Let me go.
[it's softer this time. they're just words. xingchen gasps at the sharpness of his boyfriend's mouth, one hand reaching back to grip his thigh. he's pressing back against him, like a rabbit desperate to be devoured by the wolf.]
Unless you plan on doing something right against this door.
[well...xue yang fucks him where he wants to fuck him, they've been through that before.]
[there are times when the then and now bleed together just a little bit, times when Xue Yang sees white cloth against Xingchen's face. when there is the phantom ache of a crushed finger on his hand, when there is the weight of a weapon made of more than steel held in his grasp. when Xue Yang sees Xingchen with blood on his throat at his feet and feels that riptide of fearlossdispay pull him under to drown. and then there are times like this; when the heat from Xingchen's body pressed close burns away the fog of memory and leaves him instead with the aching sensation of wanting to keep this man with him no matter what.
Xue Yang is not good with softness, he has not known it outside of Xingchen. he does not know how to speak with warm words and gentle touches quite the same way as Xingchen, doesn't know how to make his tongue hold those words the way his fingers can hold a weapon, but he wants to try. just for Xingchen.
so when the words, as soft as the are, are murmured against the cool of the door in their apartment hallway, Xue Yang goes still. his fingers flex against the softness of Xingchen's stomach beneath fabrics (vulnerable, all it would take is a short knife and the right twist and--), but he doesn't press down. doesn't bruise. makes a noise that shakes his chest before he does let go.
just a little.]
Would you like that? Would you enjoy me taking you apart where anyone might be able to walk by and see? Just a little taste of what they can never have?
[ the hand that had pulled away from his stomach comes back, sinks lower to press against him lightly. too lightly to really be gratifying. he is still close to Xingchen, close enough that the heat of their bodies bleeds together, but he is no longer pressing him to the door, no longer trapping him quite the same.]
[there is something that xue yang isn't telling him. xingchen's felt it lately, when his boyfriend goes too still the way that he is now. xue yang has never been still before. the smile used to never drop from his lips, and xingchen would never wake up in the middle of the night to find xue yang's side of the bed empty. he's found him staring into the mirror like he thinks his own reflection can give him answers.
these little things are starting to add up, concerns for himself and concerns for xue yang. it feels like something is bearing down on them both, closer every night, a tidal wave threatening to crash into them and carry him away from xue yang.
he covers xue yang's hands with his own, squeezing them as if to whisper that he won't let go. he'll hold on too. he won't leave him alone this time. he moves with him when his hand slides lower, humming at the little tease of it. xingchen turns around them, leaning back against the door as he looks into the other man's eyes. he never gets tired of that, never feels like he has enough of just...looking at him. but after a moment he reaches down for the doorknob and turns it, leading them both into their darkened apartment.]
I want you to take me apart. [he has no doubt of that. xingchen cups his chin and draws him closer for a kiss, deep enough that he can taste the perpetual sweetness on xue yang's tongue. he works xue yang's shirt up and over his head, hands sliding over his skin, slender fingers curling against the back of his neck as they kiss and come up for air and repeat it all over again.] And then I want you to put me back together again...Can you do that for me, baby?
[xingchen backs away, eyes dark and focused on him as he undresses for him at the doorway to their bedroom. whatever it is that's coming, it can't have him tonight. tonight, he belongs to xue yang.
it could never occur to him that the monster that's coming for him and xue yang are one and the same.]
[ in the memories, in the past life, Xue Yang knows that he was never one for rules. that he was never one to listen, obey. he would comply, for a while, when it suited him, but he would not willingly follow what he was told if it did not suit him. and he was much the same in this life.
except for Xingchen.
he would follow Xingchen anywhere, would listen to whatever he asked of him, even if it did not technically serve himself the way he wanted in that moment. so he stills when Xingchen asks it of him, slows himself, tempers himself. he will also allow himself to be unteathered. will let himself be hungry and wanting and too much for anyone else but the man before him. it is so easy for him to laugh, sharp and sudden, when he is told to take Xingchen apart. wants to warn him that he can do that, so so easily, how he knows every place to press to see him shake.
(knows the words to say to see him crumble, knows what he looks like truly broken.)
the kiss swallows the end of his laughter, and Xue Yang bites and nips at Xingchen's lips as he shirt is pulled away, lets his hands slide beneath the soft fabric of the sweater to drag blunt nails against the dip of his hips, leaves trails of pink in the wake of his touch. ]
Anything for you, my sweet.
[ he will shatter Xingchen just as he has asked ("--I can't fix this." echoes but Xue Yang ignores it, focuses on warmth on the skin being bared to him, on--) and then put himself back together with himself in between the cracks. will make him stronger for it.
it takes almost all of his patience to not pin him to the door frame, to watch as Xingchen tugs away the layers without touching. all but shoves his own jeans off haphazardly, eyes fixed an hungry. he waits until Xingchen is bare before he moves, pushes Xingchen to the bed before climbing atop him and kissing him again. wet and messy and nearly devouring, hands pushing and skin like he wants to sink his fingers right to the bone.
hisses something that sounds a lot like 'mine' against his lips.]
[sometimes it feels like he's playing a dangerous game with the man he shares his life with. sometimes xingchen asks him for this and it feels like he could take him apart a little too well...like xue yang would enjoy it a little too much to break him beyond repair if it meant no one else could have him. it makes him tremble, makes him have to hide the way that his hands shake when his boyfriend pins them to the bed. it's what he asked for - it's only what he asked for, and xue yang has done nothing but give him everything he wants.
he needs his intensity. xue yang makes him feel alive when sometimes he just doesn't. sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, stiff and cold as a corpse, and his boyfriend's biting kisses and tight embrace are the only things that bring feeling back into him.
like now, now, with xue yang on top of him and inside him. not literally, not yet. but xue yang's fingers and teeth feel like they could sink all the way to the marrow. he's possessive, and he's never made any secrets about that. and it's like xingchen knows nothing but to give all of himself in return, body arching against his until the friction starts to make him sweat. he leaves scratches across his skin, whispering xue yang's name over and over again.
there's no reason for him to forget it. but sometimes it feels like he doesn't know it at all.]
[ the way that Xingchen says his name, over and over, is a balm of sorts, something that soothes the sharp need to claim in him. it is his name that is on Xingchen's tongue, no one else's, his marks that dotted Xingchen's skin (blooming things or red and soon purple, blossoms that told a story about just how much Xingchen was desired, but the marks never made their way up Xingchen's neck, never dotted the lines of his throat the way many would expect). Xue Yang kisses him until he can't breathe, until his lungs are bursting and he has to move.
not that he stops. his mouth simply moves lower, finds himself between Xingchen's thighs easily. sucks bruises into his hips while he lets his fingers curl wickedly around Xingchen. he was asked to take him apart, was asked to make him forget whatever shadows were lingering in his boyfriends mind, so that was what he was going to do. with teasing touches that still left an impression, with his sharp mouth against soft skin and low noises of encouragement.
there are times when Xue Yang is a hurricane of touch and pressure and pleasure, sweeping in and destroying everything in Xingchen that tries to stand against him. times when he is sharp and unrelenting and overpowering, drowning Xingchen to the point where he cannot breathe, cannot know anything outside of Xue Yang.
this is not one of those times. this time, he is steady tide, is the undertow just waiting for the moment to pull Xingchen under. works slow and steady, but still sharp, to lull him into the pleasure that comes from his lips and fingers. works Xingchen until he is trembling and there are pinpricks of tears gathering in his eyes before he presses into him slow and steady. lingers over him, around him, in him, lips pressed to his jaw as he reminds himself how to breathe. but then he is moving, steady and powerful and consuming.
it is a test of his own patience, his own will, as much as it is of how much Xingchen will stand. but he is nothing if not stubborn, wants to see Xingchen break in a far different way that he remembers from before. wants to see Xingchen shake apart and shatter, so that he can be the one to put him together again. fill in the fissures and cracks and--]
[he always thought that it was out of consideration that xue yang didn't mark his neck. clothes could hide everything else, even when xue yang let his mouth run wild. the way he is tonight. xingchen looks down to watch him, lashes at half mast, breath exhaled in soft little pants. he's aching from the time and care that xue yang is taking with him, feeling crazy from it, but it's exactly what he needed. nights when his boyfriend is more like a force of nature, when there's something akin to a fear inside of him that needs to reassured by xingchen's body have always been a thing. and xingchen, delicate though he make look and gentle though he may be, has always been able to handle it. he feels like he lives to ground that wildness inside of him, and prove that he's not going anywhere.
maybe that's why he feels like he's going crazy under such tenderness now. xue yang teases him with his mouth and fingers. every time he looks up at him with ravenous eyes under too-pretty lashes, xingchen has to bite back a sob. bite back a plead. he throws his forearm over his eyes and throws himself into darkness, trusting xue yang to take care of him.
it feels like a lifetime before he finally pushes into him, and all he pleasured torture is suddenly worth it. xingchen cries out, one hand gripping the sheets as he rocks into him while his other arm curls around xue yang. he buries his fingers in his hair, bringing his head up enough to kiss him and put a taste and heat to that name. every thrusts drives him closer to the edge, but xingchen denies himself until he's shaking like a leaf in that hurricane. until the branch finally breaks. xingchen cries out and curls around xue yang, tightens around him to keep every inch and every drop out of sheer need.]
[ tonight is one of those times when Xue Yang wants to bite at the pulse in Xingchen's neck just to feel the pulse of life beneath his teeth. wants to crack open Xingchen's rib cage to see his heart still beating in his chest. he settles for a press of lips to the tendon in his throat (knows that seeing redpurple blooming there will send him into a spiral) and leaves a line of bruises down his sternum instead. leaves a mark the shape of his fingertips against the inside of his thigh. it is worship and possession in equal measure.
everything he does is worship and possession in equal measure, though there are times he is unsure as to who possesses who.
(maybe it doesn't matter at all, maybe this time--)
the heat of Xingchen never fails to make him gasp, make him tremble in his bones like this skin is not enough to contain him. has him stilling so he does not snap his hips hard and fast and punishing as if he might somehow be able to crawl into Xingchen entirely and stay there until the world turns to ash around them.
time doesn't hold much meaning for him when they are like this, when Xingchen has his fingers in his hair and is making noises sweeter than honey against his skin. time means nothing as the pleasure builds and pulls, clings to them both and drags them under. and he lets it, lets the tide roll through him, through them both until Xingchen cries out and it's too much and -- the rhythm he has built, the steady thing he has. falters at that. Xue Yang is shaking as much as Xingchen when the pleasure finally crests, muffles his own noise against a sweat damp shoulder and remembers how to breathe as he tries not to simply collapse.
lingers a moment, then a moment more, before pulling himself away. not far, he topples over beside Xingchen before he gathers him close despite the fatigue in his bones. presses his lips to the tear tracks that are still damp at the corner of his eyes and hums.]
You're pretty when you cry. It's unfair. [ he's pretty all the time, but even more so then. when he can't keep it together anymore. when Xue Yang pushes and pushes and --]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
SCOOPS U UP AND RUNS AWAY WITH
Date: 2020-01-19 11:08 pm (UTC)maybe they have changed enough that what happened before won't happen again.
(except maybe it will, Xue Yang thinks about how he wants to keep everyone away from Xingchen, how he covets and craves and--)
they are still standing on the street, in between shadows and streetlights, when Xingchen looks at him like that. like he can see the turn of the earth there. like he can see the darkness and loves Xue Yang anyway. it makes his heart crawl up his throat, threatening to choke him.
distract me.
well okay then.
a smile curls his lips, not quite the knife sharp thing he bares for those that he wishes to terrorize, but something just for Xingchen. sharp but still warm, broken only by his laughter when Xingchen's hands make their way to his ass, leaving him curling around him, arms winding around his torso to pull them flush.]
You don't mean in the way I might when I leave the milk out on the counter and it spoils, do you. [ a kiss, more teeth and tugging than before. teasing. his voice is low when he speaks, the words pressed to the thin skin of Xingchen's throat, words interrupted by light nips. ] We're almost home, do think you can beat me home if I give you a five second head start?
I'M STILL MAD
Date: 2020-01-20 01:09 am (UTC)[not the way he leaves the milk out, or drinks right out of the orange juice, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste, or the dozens of other little things that drive xingchen crazy on a daily basis. makes him laugh too, the way he is right now, and gods, he loves him. he lets xue yang ground him with teeth and hands that are just a taste of things to come. he puts the pain and confusion of earlier into a white-lined coffin and buries it deep.
(he's not his toy. he's not his downfall. the ache that xingchen feels when he looks at him is love, it's not the pangs of a barely healed soul that couldn't return for hundreds of years. it's not.)]
Mmm, maybe. [xingchen's smile is serene, his half-lidded gaze playful. there's no way a five second head-start would help him. he doubts a five minute head-start would, not if xue yang's of a mind to find and have him. but xingchen pulls away anyway, still looking at his boyfriend as he takes a few steps backward.]
Stay. You promised me a whole five seconds.
[xingchen grins before he turns to run. maybe it's his imagination, or an illusion of the dark rainy streets that he runs down, but he feels faster. he leaps over something with ease and lands gracefully on the other side of it. something wants him to get away from xue yang as quickly as possible, and gives him the power in this life to do so.
instead, he runs right up the stairs of their apartment.]
why. what have u to be mad at. really. wow : D also how dare u with that coffin line wow
Date: 2020-01-20 02:37 am (UTC)(there should be fear there, something unsteady lingering in the smile, the lines of his eyes, Xue Yang thinks. not this playful, wanting thing that makes his stomach swoop and ribs crackle.)
he holds up his hand, phone curled in his grip as he sets a timer.]
Won't move till the alarm goes, promise.
[ the urge flares all the brighter as soon as Xingchen turns and bolts. Xue Yang's whole body lurching with the need to chaseruncashcatchtear but he stops himself. knows that no matter how swift Xingchen is, how fast he is, he doesn't know the streets quite like Xue Yang.
(a small voice says he will run away, will seek the mountains he came from, the arms of someone more stable, will seek--
no. Xue Yang will flatten the mountains if he has to, will cut off the arms of anyone that dares.)
when the alarm goes, he doesn't hold back. goes full tilt with a laugh that echoes in the shadows and between the buildings, steady and bright and constant.
('you don't deserve him'. yeah, well fuck you too, he will deserve him. will prove it.)
Xingchen almost makes it into the apartment, makes it to the door, but Xue Yang doesn't quite takes stairs like a normal person and comes up behind, fast and hard. laugh sharply as his body presses Xingchen between the door and his chest, arms braced on either side of his face while he hides his triumph against the curve of Xingchen's neck.]
You've gotten faster, or were you trying that hard to get away from me? To get home? [ there is a sharpness beneath the words he won't name, so he doesn't wait for an answer. just bites at the knobs of Xingchen's spine hard enough to leave a bloom of red before he kisses is gently, one arm moving down to wrap around his torso. mumbles words against his sweat damn skin as he pushes closer.] Almost made it. Not fast enough.
you know what you did!
Date: 2020-01-20 03:23 am (UTC)there's a feral streak in xue yang, a comfortableness with violence that's unsettling to most people. but he's always using it for xingchen's sake, never once touching him with it. if xue yang is a knife, xingchen is his sheath.
so when he hears that laughter echoing behind him, it sends a chill up xingchen's spine for all the right reasons. a part of him really wants to reach their apartment, lock the door against him and play a dangerous game of seeing what xue yang does then. he wants the punishment of it so bad that he barely understands it.
his hand is just reaching for the doorknob when xue yang comes up behind him like a force of nature. xingchen's heart is hammering againt his ribs like it wants to break free and keep running. maybe at least one part of him could survive this time. the rest of him is trapped by xue yang's body, his energy. xingchen presses his cheek against the door while he catches his breath.]
Let me go.
[it's softer this time. they're just words. xingchen gasps at the sharpness of his boyfriend's mouth, one hand reaching back to grip his thigh. he's pressing back against him, like a rabbit desperate to be devoured by the wolf.]
Unless you plan on doing something right against this door.
[well...xue yang fucks him where he wants to fuck him, they've been through that before.]
:ANGELIC FACE:
Date: 2020-01-20 03:42 pm (UTC)Xue Yang is not good with softness, he has not known it outside of Xingchen. he does not know how to speak with warm words and gentle touches quite the same way as Xingchen, doesn't know how to make his tongue hold those words the way his fingers can hold a weapon, but he wants to try. just for Xingchen.
so when the words, as soft as the are, are murmured against the cool of the door in their apartment hallway, Xue Yang goes still. his fingers flex against the softness of Xingchen's stomach beneath fabrics (vulnerable, all it would take is a short knife and the right twist and--), but he doesn't press down. doesn't bruise. makes a noise that shakes his chest before he does let go.
just a little.]
Would you like that? Would you enjoy me taking you apart where anyone might be able to walk by and see? Just a little taste of what they can never have?
[ the hand that had pulled away from his stomach comes back, sinks lower to press against him lightly. too lightly to really be gratifying. he is still close to Xingchen, close enough that the heat of their bodies bleeds together, but he is no longer pressing him to the door, no longer trapping him quite the same.]
What do you want, Xingchen.
squints
Date: 2020-01-20 11:43 pm (UTC)these little things are starting to add up, concerns for himself and concerns for xue yang. it feels like something is bearing down on them both, closer every night, a tidal wave threatening to crash into them and carry him away from xue yang.
he covers xue yang's hands with his own, squeezing them as if to whisper that he won't let go. he'll hold on too. he won't leave him alone this time. he moves with him when his hand slides lower, humming at the little tease of it. xingchen turns around them, leaning back against the door as he looks into the other man's eyes. he never gets tired of that, never feels like he has enough of just...looking at him. but after a moment he reaches down for the doorknob and turns it, leading them both into their darkened apartment.]
I want you to take me apart. [he has no doubt of that. xingchen cups his chin and draws him closer for a kiss, deep enough that he can taste the perpetual sweetness on xue yang's tongue. he works xue yang's shirt up and over his head, hands sliding over his skin, slender fingers curling against the back of his neck as they kiss and come up for air and repeat it all over again.] And then I want you to put me back together again...Can you do that for me, baby?
[xingchen backs away, eyes dark and focused on him as he undresses for him at the doorway to their bedroom. whatever it is that's coming, it can't have him tonight. tonight, he belongs to xue yang.
it could never occur to him that the monster that's coming for him and xue yang are one and the same.]
:GETS MORE ANGELIC:
Date: 2020-01-21 03:15 am (UTC)except for Xingchen.
he would follow Xingchen anywhere, would listen to whatever he asked of him, even if it did not technically serve himself the way he wanted in that moment. so he stills when Xingchen asks it of him, slows himself, tempers himself. he will also allow himself to be unteathered. will let himself be hungry and wanting and too much for anyone else but the man before him. it is so easy for him to laugh, sharp and sudden, when he is told to take Xingchen apart. wants to warn him that he can do that, so so easily, how he knows every place to press to see him shake.
(knows the words to say to see him crumble, knows what he looks like truly broken.)
the kiss swallows the end of his laughter, and Xue Yang bites and nips at Xingchen's lips as he shirt is pulled away, lets his hands slide beneath the soft fabric of the sweater to drag blunt nails against the dip of his hips, leaves trails of pink in the wake of his touch. ]
Anything for you, my sweet.
[ he will shatter Xingchen just as he has asked ("--I can't fix this." echoes but Xue Yang ignores it, focuses on warmth on the skin being bared to him, on--) and then put himself back together with himself in between the cracks. will make him stronger for it.
it takes almost all of his patience to not pin him to the door frame, to watch as Xingchen tugs away the layers without touching. all but shoves his own jeans off haphazardly, eyes fixed an hungry. he waits until Xingchen is bare before he moves, pushes Xingchen to the bed before climbing atop him and kissing him again. wet and messy and nearly devouring, hands pushing and skin like he wants to sink his fingers right to the bone.
hisses something that sounds a lot like 'mine' against his lips.]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-28 12:45 am (UTC)he needs his intensity. xue yang makes him feel alive when sometimes he just doesn't. sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, stiff and cold as a corpse, and his boyfriend's biting kisses and tight embrace are the only things that bring feeling back into him.
like now, now, with xue yang on top of him and inside him. not literally, not yet. but xue yang's fingers and teeth feel like they could sink all the way to the marrow. he's possessive, and he's never made any secrets about that. and it's like xingchen knows nothing but to give all of himself in return, body arching against his until the friction starts to make him sweat. he leaves scratches across his skin, whispering xue yang's name over and over again.
there's no reason for him to forget it. but sometimes it feels like he doesn't know it at all.]
no subject
Date: 2020-01-28 04:42 pm (UTC)not that he stops. his mouth simply moves lower, finds himself between Xingchen's thighs easily. sucks bruises into his hips while he lets his fingers curl wickedly around Xingchen. he was asked to take him apart, was asked to make him forget whatever shadows were lingering in his boyfriends mind, so that was what he was going to do. with teasing touches that still left an impression, with his sharp mouth against soft skin and low noises of encouragement.
there are times when Xue Yang is a hurricane of touch and pressure and pleasure, sweeping in and destroying everything in Xingchen that tries to stand against him. times when he is sharp and unrelenting and overpowering, drowning Xingchen to the point where he cannot breathe, cannot know anything outside of Xue Yang.
this is not one of those times. this time, he is steady tide, is the undertow just waiting for the moment to pull Xingchen under. works slow and steady, but still sharp, to lull him into the pleasure that comes from his lips and fingers. works Xingchen until he is trembling and there are pinpricks of tears gathering in his eyes before he presses into him slow and steady. lingers over him, around him, in him, lips pressed to his jaw as he reminds himself how to breathe. but then he is moving, steady and powerful and consuming.
it is a test of his own patience, his own will, as much as it is of how much Xingchen will stand. but he is nothing if not stubborn, wants to see Xingchen break in a far different way that he remembers from before. wants to see Xingchen shake apart and shatter, so that he can be the one to put him together again. fill in the fissures and cracks and--]
Xingchen...
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Date: 2020-01-28 06:26 pm (UTC)maybe that's why he feels like he's going crazy under such tenderness now. xue yang teases him with his mouth and fingers. every time he looks up at him with ravenous eyes under too-pretty lashes, xingchen has to bite back a sob. bite back a plead. he throws his forearm over his eyes and throws himself into darkness, trusting xue yang to take care of him.
it feels like a lifetime before he finally pushes into him, and all he pleasured torture is suddenly worth it. xingchen cries out, one hand gripping the sheets as he rocks into him while his other arm curls around xue yang. he buries his fingers in his hair, bringing his head up enough to kiss him and put a taste and heat to that name. every thrusts drives him closer to the edge, but xingchen denies himself until he's shaking like a leaf in that hurricane. until the branch finally breaks. xingchen cries out and curls around xue yang, tightens around him to keep every inch and every drop out of sheer need.]
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Date: 2020-01-29 04:16 am (UTC)everything he does is worship and possession in equal measure, though there are times he is unsure as to who possesses who.
(maybe it doesn't matter at all, maybe this time--)
the heat of Xingchen never fails to make him gasp, make him tremble in his bones like this skin is not enough to contain him. has him stilling so he does not snap his hips hard and fast and punishing as if he might somehow be able to crawl into Xingchen entirely and stay there until the world turns to ash around them.
time doesn't hold much meaning for him when they are like this, when Xingchen has his fingers in his hair and is making noises sweeter than honey against his skin. time means nothing as the pleasure builds and pulls, clings to them both and drags them under. and he lets it, lets the tide roll through him, through them both until Xingchen cries out and it's too much and -- the rhythm he has built, the steady thing he has. falters at that. Xue Yang is shaking as much as Xingchen when the pleasure finally crests, muffles his own noise against a sweat damp shoulder and remembers how to breathe as he tries not to simply collapse.
lingers a moment, then a moment more, before pulling himself away. not far, he topples over beside Xingchen before he gathers him close despite the fatigue in his bones. presses his lips to the tear tracks that are still damp at the corner of his eyes and hums.]
You're pretty when you cry. It's unfair. [ he's pretty all the time, but even more so then. when he can't keep it together anymore. when Xue Yang pushes and pushes and --]